Hurt
by Glamagirl
Summary: Steph/Jericho! Stephanie is struggling with some personal issues and needs some comfort


**Disclaimer:** I do not own anyone in this story. Chris & Stephanie belong to each other.

**A/N** I came up with this while listening to NIN Hurt, hence the name. Oh, I'm sure I've said this before, but please, bear in mind that English is not my first language, so forgive any typos or misplaced words ;-)

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**HURT**

The water had turned cold but she still remained submerged in it, staring up to the ceiling as dancing shadows surrounded her. She didn't mind cold, cold was her new code of life and she had learnt to embrace it.

But it hadn't always been like this, _she_ hadn't always been like this. Just as the water that now filled the porcelain tub, she had once been brimming warmth… once, but not anymore. The fire in her had extinguished the day her heart died.

She casted her heavy lidded eyes down, forcing them not to shut themselves. Through the chiaroscuro of the room she could see her body underneath the still water; the skin that was not covered by her underwear seemed too pale to her own eyes, almost translucent.

Would he notice that she hadn't showed up to the show… would he even care?

Her breathing had slowed down to a point where it was almost imperceptible and she wondered what would happen if it just ceased. And by God, she wanted it to cease, she wanted the pain to go away so that her soul could be free once again, perhaps once last time…

If only, there was no last chance her.

She brought her right hand out of the water and ran her forefinger through the smooth edge of the tub until it reached the flat surface where a bottle of painkillers lay open; they were Paul's and she had taken it out of an impulse that morning. She took the small bottle in her hand to take yet another look at it and then she shook it, half expecting the sound of the pills against the plastic to break the silence of the room. No sound came out of it as the bottle was empty; she had emptied it earlier that night. She put it back down.

Her fingers slid a bit further on and when they came upon her cell phone she gave it a slight nudge before drawing back in a hurry. When she drowned her hand back underneath the water a few drops splashed against her face and she closed her eyes. She was so tired.

She breathed in and rested her head against the edge of the tub. No, she must not call him, he had said so. She remembered as if it were happening in that same moment. She remembered everything; every detail, every world he had said and the ones she had left unspoken… every feeling brushed away. How could she ever forget, the scene had been replaying in her mind for what, three months?

She chuckled dryly. Three months, one week and five days to be precise. That had been when the world began to crumble all around her, today had been when it finally fell apart.

She didn't blame him, he had been right to call it off; they were doomed to fail since the very beginning. She had always known it would come sooner rather than later because theirs was a forbidden union, it wasn't meant to be. She knew all that, but it still hurt, it hurt today more than ever.

Opening her eyes, she lifted her hand again and grabbed the mobile. She had turned it off to be left undisturbed but now she brought it to life with a single touch.

Once it was on she dialed his number and waited for a response. It would be for a quick moment, just to hear his voice…

She sighed as she waited, she shouldn't be doing this to herself, she was in a frail state of mind and she wouldn't be able to take his rejection. It would be too much.

What had become of her? She had been reduced to a pile of nothingness, she was broken, alone and losing her mind. She was not even the shadow of the woman she had once been, and now she had nothing to hold on to.

The phone stopped it's ringing and for a moment she thought he had cut her off even before she could even register he had picked up the call.

Then she heard him sigh.

"Chris?" Her voice came out pathetically low and broken, she could feel a lump forming down her throat.

"_Didn't we talk about this?"_ He responded and she bit hard on her trembling lips.

She didn't want to cry, she had never cried in front of him or even by the phone and she didn't want what could be their last conversation to be spoiled by her lack of self control.

But as she heard his voice it all came back to her, the pain resurfacing all over again until she couldn't hold it back any longer. She needed him more than ever, if only to offer her a sense of comfort, listening to him could give her just that.

Her eyes were clouded with tears and she could feel a few ones already tracing a warm path down her cheeks, it was inevitable. She covered her mouth to suppress the sobs that wanted to come out, but they did anyways, the force of them making her body rock.

"_What is it?"_ He asked in worry and it just made her cry the hardest, she just couldn't respond. "_Talk to me princess…_"

She wanted to tell him, he was the only one who would understand, but every time she opened her mouth to utter a response another sob would come out, making her unable to talk.

"_Steph… please talk to me"_

She should hang up; calling him had been a stupid idea that had only managed to worry him. He had his own life to tend to, his own family to worry about. She was not a part of that life, perhaps she had never been. But she couldn't hang up, it was egoistical of her part but she wanted her heart to content itself by hearing that voice a little longer, it could give her the force she needed to hold on.

"_Is it the girls?" _

She wiped at her face, he had always been able to read her. "He took them Chris, he took my girls away…" She sobbed into the phone as more tears streamed down her face.

"_What do you mean he took them?_ He asked in a severe tone.

She took a deep breath to try and calm herself. "I… we argued about some stupid thing and… I asked him for a divorce" She was only greeted by silence. "He was furious and… he took the girls and I don't know where he is…"

When Chris had call it off between them she at least had her daughters to hold onto, they were her everything and now Paul took them away from her. She had tried to call him but his phone was disconnected. His parents knew nothing about him; neither did his sisters or any of his closest friends. He had just disappeared.

Her dad had made her promise not to call the police, to give Paul time to calm down and come back on his own. So she did just that, but after an entire day there was still no sign of him or the girls.

She flew in to where the show was taping that night in hopes that he would show up, but again her dad had asked her to wait in the hotel, he was going himself to wait for Paul. He didn't show up and deep in her heart she was afraid he would never show up.

"_Where are you_?"

Her tears were starting to dry in her face as a sense of calmness began to evolve her. She hugged her knees up to her chest, the water caressing softly her flesh as she moved. "Do you remember that first time you kissed me?"

"_Are you at the hotel_?" There was urgency on his voice.

"I still remember…" She closed her eyes as her mind traveled back to the day that changed her life. She rested her head back against the tub, her lips curved into a slight smile.

"_Just tell me where you are"_ He insisted.

"We were happy, weren't we?" She asked and waited. "I know I was"

He didn't responded but she knew he was still there, she could hear his soft breathing. "_We were_"

She smiled once again. "But I came too late into your life…" She breathed in and for a while the two of them remained in silence. This was something she often liked to mortify her brain with, the infamous _what ifs _game_. _It was pointless, as there was no possible way of changing the past. You could only work on your present and wait to see what the future would bring. Right now her future looked dubious.

"Chris" She whispered into the phone. "I love you, I never got the chance to say it to you" Oh, but she had her chance, and lots of them, she just never found the courage to say it. "I just wanted you to know that"

"_Steph… let me go to you, just too see that you are ok_"

She sniffed. "I'll be fine… I just… I gotta go" She took the phone out of her ear and turned it off. She let the mobile drop to the floor as her limp hand hung out the tub.

For a few minutes, maybe even hours, she couldn't really tell, she refrained from any movement; she might have even dozed off. But when she came back from her reverie she submerged her head under the surface, letting the cold water take her whole.

She shouldn't have called him… she didn't want to drag him down with her. He was a good man and he deserved to be happy with his wife and kids, she was just not worth the trouble. At least she could take solace in his happiness.

If only she could only get her girls back.

Out of nowhere something grabbed her by the shoulders and she panicked, she opened her mouth to yell and only managed to swallow a mouthful of water.

Whatever or whoever had taken hold of her pulled her to the surface as she coughed her way out.

"What the hell are you doing?"

She wiped the water out of her eyes and came face to face with none other than Chris Irvine himself. He was still holding her in a tight grip and his eyes were angrily delving into hers.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in awe. How had he even entered the room?

But he had questions of his own too. "What is this?" He asked in a hiss as he eased his hold on her to reach out for the bottle of pills. "Did you take these?"

She looked down to the bottle and then back to his face.

"Answer me damn it" He dropped the bottle into the tub and grabbed her again to give her a slight shake.

She shook her head in denial. "No… I just…" He didn't let her finish as one of his hands went up to her face, with his thumb he stretched down the skin below her eye as he inspected her. "What are you doing?"

"The bottle was empty, where are the pills?" He asked still searching into her eyes.

She knew why he was asking, he believed she had taken all those pills. Well, she couldn't deny that the idea had danced through her mind, that's why she had taken them with her, but she just couldn't do it. Death was so… final; at the end of it she emptied the bottle into the sink.

She pointed to the sink and being the incredulous human being that he was he went to check for himself. What if she had taken them? Had he added doctor to his numerous titles as well?

She didn't need a doctor, she needed her girls.

When he was satisfied with seeing the pills on the sink he walked back to the tub and grabbed her by the waist to put her up on her feet. Then we hugged her to his chest.

She closed her eyes, already feeling them watering. Having him so close, and yet so far made her heart ache in yearning. He probably didn't know what he was doing to her, because if he knew he wouldn't even be here.

"I'm soaking you all over" She whispered in protest but he just held her closer, his warm lips pressing against her forehead.

She swallowed down a lump and clutched at his already wet shirt, she was afraid that if she even attempted to put her arms around him she wouldn't be able to let go.

Then again, maybe it was already too late.

She had been able to hold her composure as he held her onto him, but when he cupped her face into his hands and brought his lips down to hers she knew she was doomed, there was no turning back from her, and as he kissed her and she kissed him she wished he could take her worries away.

Too soon he pulled away. "Did you call the police?" He asked wiping with his thumb the tears that had slipped down her cheeks.

She shook her head. "Dad asked me to wait at least until tomorrow morning; he doesn't want to make a spectacle out of this"

"The hell with that, what Paul did is fucking kidnapping!"

"They are his daughters…"

"So what? You are their mother and you are within your right to call the police"

She sniffed and snuggled against him. She didn't believe Paul was going to hurt the girls. He just wanted to hurt her, thing that he had already achieved.

"I know… but dad is doing all he can to find them, I guess I'll just give him time before calling the police"

He sighed and she could tell that he didn't like the idea but he wasn't going to push the matter.

She pulled away from him and smiled awkwardly. "I'm not going to kill myself… I'll be fine so you don't have to worry about me"

"I'm always going to worry about you Steph" He brushed her hair behind her ear before reaching for a towel to wrap around her body. "And I'll stay with you at least until you have any kind of news, ok?"

She nodded and climbed out of the tub. "Ok… just let me change" He gave her a nod of his own and left her alone in the bathroom for some privacy, as if he had never seen her naked.

She stripped off her soaked underwear, dried the moist out of her hair with a towel and put on some decent clothes before walking out.

He was standing next to the window and when he felt her approach he turned to her. He had discarded his soaked shirt over the nightstand and his arms were folded against his chest. "You should try to get some rest"

She had tried it, it was useless, but for his sake she agreed. "Just if you come with me… just to hold me" she clarified. He was here as a friend, a much needed one and she wasn't going to jeopardize that.

He kissed her on the forehead and together they climbed onto the bed. They had shared many clandestine nights in rooms like this one, holding onto each other as they waited for reality to kick in.

She missed that, she missed him. It was comforting that although too many nights had passed without him he still felt the same. She rested her cheek against his bare chest and he pulled her closer to him as she took a deep breath, taking in his clean scent. She couldn't remember now why they had parted ways…

The beating of his heart and his hand running through her hair soothed her, he was her lullaby. She rested a hand against his stomach, watching as it rose with his breathing.

"How are things at home?" She asked, hoping they were fine and dreading it at the same time. His wife was a theme she had avoided like the pest during their time together, but now that they weren't anymore she dared to ask.

He maintained his silence for a while and then replied. "Not so good" More silence. "I'm trying to fix things; I'm really trying but…" He sighed; his hand went from running through her hair to caressing her back. "…she's just not you"

Her heart skipped a bit and she couldn't move a muscle even if her life depended on it.

She bit hard on her lips, she didn't knew if she should cry or smile, and she felt bad that while her daughters were missing her mind insisted on dwelling on him.

She lifted her face just enough to look into his eyes and what she saw there left her breathless. Those eyes that she loved to death said so much, held so much…

He traced the outline of her face with his finger, his touch leaving a path of fire that burnt straight to her soul. It stopped at her bottom lip. "Steph…" He began to say when a knock at the door interrupted him. They both stared at the door for a while until a second knocking took them back to reality.

She hurried to her feet and ran to the door, and when she opened it and found her father holding a sleeping Murphy in his arms as Aurora held onto his hand she let out a gasp.

"Look who came to see mommy" Vince said as Stephanie bent over to take her oldest daughter in her arms. She rained kisses all over her face as the girl giggled.

"Mommy!" The girl complained but circled her neck with her small arms.

"Oh Baby I missed you so much" She held the girl tighter and then went to inspect her all over, she seemed fine. "Is Murphy all right, Did you checked her?" She looked up at her father, who seemed more interested in the man behind her that on what she was saying. She ran her hand along the youngest girl head, careful not to wake her.

"They are both fine" He responded but refrained from saying more.

"I guess it's time for me to leave" Chris said from behind her and she turned to him. She saw that he had put on his shirt and that it was still wet.

"No" She said and her father gave her one of his 'what in the blue hell is going on here' looks, she was beyond caring. "Stay"

"Who is he mommy?" Aurora asked looking at the blonde man. This was the first time her daughter came face to face with Chris, the man she loved, and if things turned out the way she hoped they would this was not going to be the last.

"This is a good friend of mommy, his name is Chris" The girl smiled shyly at him before burying her head into the crook of her neck.

Chris smiled too. "No, you have a lot to talk with your father" He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow morning" He walked past her. "Vince…" He nodded to her father and then he was gone.

Vince snorted. "What in the blue hell is going on here?"

Stephanie shook her head as her father walked into the room with Murphy. Chris was right, she needed a talk with her father, she wanted to know where her daughters had been; but for a while she just stood there at the doorframe, holding her child close to her as a smile adorned her face.

Tomorrow. She liked that word, tomorrow morning sounded even better. It was a good time to start picking the pieces of her broken life… Yes, tomorrow.

~*FIN*~


End file.
